Rush is Rich and Deserves Every Damned Penny

I love the sound of whining in the morning.

Rush Limbaugh has signed a deal that simply kicks ass. Eight years, $400 million. $50 million a year. I love it. Unlike sports contracts and the expected deliverable for the athlete, Rush actually provides America with mental stimulation and food for thought. He does this year round and his travel schedule and show prep rivals that of any athlete. I love that athletes can make huge money. I love that oil execs can do the same. Ditto for the Hollywood elite. But for some reason Liberals are screaming about this new contract.

Hello? McFly? Have you heard of something called supply and demand? Oh, that’s right. Air America failed miserably and therefore you are hoping that the ‘Fairness’ Doctrine will come in and suppress all conservative free speech on the radio to make up for the fact that Liberals don’t buy advertising time and don’t have any pull when it comes to radio. Liberals dominate print media, newspapers, television networks and all products from hollywood (movies, cartoons, tv series, etc.). good old fashioned radio is the lone delivery method for conservative thought and opinion. Yet the left can’t leave radio alone. In the name of ‘fairness’ they want to muzzle free speech. Newsflash, “ain’t gonna happen bitch. Deal with it.”

And before we go crazy over how much Rush will be making let’s properly frame this. Fourteen other media personalities made more than $50M over the 12-month period between July 2006/ June 2007 as listed at the Forbes Top 100 Power list.

• Oprah Winfrey: Liberal powerhouse, arguably the most powerful woman in the world; makes $18M per year from XM alone. All in all she made about $260M last year. The other thirteen making more than $50M per year are as follows:
• Jerry Bruckheimer: $120M - Action movie mogul (most recently the Pirates of the Caribbean series)
• Steven Spielberg: $110M - Hollywood deity. ‘Nuff said.
• Tiger Woods: $100M -Golf deity. ‘Nuff said.
• Johnny Depp: $92M - Cute, damned good actor. Weird. More power to him.
• Rolling Stones: $88M - Possibly the most over-rated band evah. No wait. They are #3 on my list.
• Jay-Z: $83M - Not my cup of tea, but he has an audience. Capitalism is a wonderful thing.
• Tom Hanks: $74 M - The greatest actor of our generation.
• Madonna: $72 M - She jumped the shark long ago.
• Howard Stern: $70M - He too has an audience. Too bad they are largely immature and capable of making Johnny Knoxville look sophisticated.
• Brian Grazer/Ron Howard: $70 M - Insane profit from The Da Vinci Code. See, mocking religion can still earn you a decent living.
• Bon Jovi: $67M - Talk about jumping the shark. They did that two decades ago. But, as long as you have demand you will always have supply.
• Jerry Seinfeld: $60M - I’m not sure which aspect of hs genius is greater: His reality-based comedy or his business acumen and success thanks to syndication.
• Elton John: $53M - Forget the sunglasses, his earlier hits are timeless. Much deeper than anything Bon Jovi, Jay-Z or Madonna every produced. And he actually plays an instrument.
• Bonus Track: A list of the top paid athletes can be found here:

Congratulations Rush. Congratulations Conservative Talk Radio. Congratulations America.

Obama and Wesley Clark

I just finished a short trip to New England and survived 48 or so hours being surrounded by passionate yet politically ignorant liberals. (I guess that’s redundant). To hear them talk about how exciting Obama is makes me want to puke. Sadly, the man has been put on a pedestal so high that he might actually avoid the ramifications of any factual discussions around why he is the worst possible candidate we have seen in my lifetime. The masses may actually elect a man that could bankrupt a nation.

If you haven’t seen General Wesley Clark’s recent interview and glowing praise for Barack Obama you are really missing something. (the gold starts about one minute into the video) I’ve come to the conclusion that the junior senator is really a Jedi knight and has been slowly mind warping our citizenry. You know the scene, “these aren’t the droids you are looking for.”

Wesley Clark is one of our highest ranking military field commanders, yet he has fallen victim to the Obama Effect. Now, I know what you liberals are thinking. “C’mon dude, you’re just upset because someone in the military disagrees with your candidate.” Actually, not at all. Unlike most liberals I run into, I actually welcome and encourage opinions different from my own.

As you will see a few minutes into the interview, Clark is questioned about why he thinks McCain is not experienced enough to lead the country. Clark goes into a deep dive away from his cue cards and talks about the things that Obama, unlike McCain, brings to the race: Character, Judgment and Charisma. Clark goes on to say that McCain offers none of these traits and that he is not fit to lead. Never mind the fact that McCain once lead the largest squadron in the Navy. Never mind that he flew fighter jets during wartime and suffered overseas for years as a patriot.

Ed Morrissey makes some very excellent points in his article on the subject:

Let’s point out a few things about Barack Obama:

• In “the matter of national security policy making.” Barack Obama hasn’t ever done anything.
• In the matter of gauging your “opponents”, Obama wants to meet with them without preconditions despite having no national-security, military, or diplomatic experience.
• Barack Obama hasn’t been on the Senate Armed Services Committee.
• Barack Obama hasn’t had any executive experience.
• Barack Obama hasn’t commanded anything, in wartime or not.
• Barack Obama hasn’t dealt with diplomats in any capacity at all.
• Barack Obama hasn’t ordered the bombs to fall, although to be fair, he has associated himself with someone who has — William Ayers.

When I first saw the video I had to vent at HotAir.com.

Clark: “[Obama] is running on his strengths his Character, his Communication Skills and his Judgment. And these are the qualities that we seek in our national leadership”

Character? This I can understand. Obama is a man of strong principles. I happen to disagree with all of them, but he stands by his words. Oh wait, he’s changed his words again. Never mind.

Communication Skills? You know, Farrakhan and Chavez can give a pretty good speech too. Take Obama away from the teleprompter and you get a bumbling, stuttering and clueless shell of a man that actually makes George Bush look good by comparison

Judgment? As in choosing to associate with by Ayers, Rezko? As in choosing to sit in a pew for 20 years listening to divisive and racist rhetoric, only to leave when it makes political sense to do so.

General Clark, thank you for your service and commitment to our country. But with all due respect: Go F&@$ yourself.

Now that I’ve had a little time, allow me to make a deeper comparison:

Character:
Obama: chose to sit in the pew of a highly divisive and racially polarizing church for 20 years. Tolerates a bitter victim of a wife (despite the fact that she makes $370k a year and went to two outstanding educational institutions).
McCain: When given the chance for freedom he chose to remain in a prison camp with his men after suffering what most of us cant even imagine.
Advantage: McCain

Judgment:
Obama: Chose to associate with Tony Rezko a criminal slumlord, and Willam Ayers, a domestic terrorist that to this day wishes he had been more successful when blowing up government buildings. I forget whic one of the two helped to launch Obama’s political career, but t doesn’t matter. Both are slime balls.
McCain: Chose to side with open border advocates and even Ted Kennedy. Understands the global political environment exponentially better than Obama.
Advantage: McCain

Charisma:
Obama: Receives nauseating praise from starstruck talking heads and clueless Beatlemania-like fans all because he’s really ood at reading a teleprompter. A master of creating something from nothing Remember, Farrakan and Chavez are alos really good public speakers.
McCain: Has a decent sense of humor and willingly pokes fun at himself. Can confidently address most issues of importance without the need for a teleprompter or speakers notes.
Advantage: McCain.

“But dude, Obama is so fresh! He;s a wind of change! He offers America hope! He can be an agent of change!”

Shut. The Hell. UP!

When you engage a liberal on this topic, or even an independent or conservative that is considering a vote for Barack, you quickly find that they don;t have any facts to base their infatuation. After all, Obama has only been a Senator for a couple of years, the rest of the time he has been campaigning. For Obama supporters, the choice is clear. Anyone but Bush. Get us out of this war. Period. If only it were that simple, if only elections were based on single issues. They are not.

Want to create awkward tension at the office? Ask an Obama supporter to try and define a single political stance that Obama holds that is NOT about the war. Wait for it. Here it comes… the word “change.” The left is so utterly dissatisfied with GWB that they want someone, anyone to replace him. Well I’ve got news for you… so do most conservatives. However, unlike liberals, conservatives generally want to pick someone based on their ability to do the job. We’re not talking about an affirmative action candidate placement, this is the friggin’ President. The role requires someone that stands steadfast FOR things. Someone with not only the ability to communicate, but the ability to get things done. Obama is great at whipping crowds of the clueless youth and their mid-life crisis parents into a frenzy, but what has he don to indicate that he can make things happen while in office? < cricket, cricket > Once in office they also need to know how to pay for said things. In my humble opinion Obama is a hollow puppet waiting to have the hand of power hungry psychopathic liberals rammed up his ass to do their bidding.

Obama has no idea how to pay for any of the wanton governmental socialism he so wishes to create. For example: He has proposed a trillion dollars worth of spending around the world, funds gathered straight out of the pockets of American corporations big and small. A neat wrinkle to the plan is that Uncle Sam won’t get to decide where to spend the money, the friggin’ UN will (and we all know how much the UN loves America). So now, not only does Obama want to tax the rich at home and divert those funds to the less fortunate/motivated at home, he wants to tax the rich countries around the world and give money to the poor countries. How nice. How socialist.

Back to General Clark. He takes a good swipe at McCain and claims that McCain is not capable to lead America. He then gives examples of what McCain lacks. The irony is that Obama is even more deficient in the very same categories used to downplay McCain’s potential. Here comes the Jedi part: Clark DOESN’T REALIZE THIS. In one breath he lists several reasons not to vote for McCain, and in the next breath he fails to see that Obama is even worse! Clark has been brainwashed! (”this isn’t the candidate you are looking for..”)

But perhaps there is a silver lining. Given that Obama apparently possesses amazing superpowers and can make people say things that are factually and logically 100% incorrect, maybe we can use him to interrogate, sorry, question enemy combatants without ever having to touch, threaten or waterboard them. If he can persuade a four star general to fall under his spell, I bet Obama can get Johnny Jihad to tell us where Bin Laden is.

The 2nd Amendment and Liberals

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Liberals have their panties in a wad over the recent Supreme Court decision that struck down Washington D.C’s stupid gun ban. Yes, I said it is stupid and to think otherwise is equally stupid. The ban was put in place about 30 years ago in an attempt to lower the crime rate in our nation’s capital. Well, a lot of good that did.

When you take guns away from the good guys (citizens that follow the law), the only people left that have guns are the militia, police and the bad guys. Criminals will always find ways to get guns and use them against non-criminals. Yet for some reason liberals think that this ruling will create a ‘wild west’ atmosphere in America.

Um… grow the hell up people.

If you want the wild west, take a trip to our border with Mexico, or take a trip into the worst of our inner cities. This is where guns are a blazin’ with no regard to what nine robed appointees do or say. Our founding fathers made gun ownership second only to free speech when drafting the amendments. It was that important to them.

I’d also like to point out another important sentence that they took the time to craft when founding our country.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness

Their genius continues:

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

If Obama is elected by an unthinking brainwashed majority America will be plunged into its most vulnerable state since it was created. I hope and pray that voters take the time to research their candidates before exercising their right to vote. Hope and Change are pretty words, and Obama gives a great speech. But when you look at what he actually stands for and proposes, you will quickly learn that there is more to this election than the war. Look in the mirror people and think about this. Guns don’t kill people; people kill people. Taking this further, Conservatism doesnt kill a nation, Liberalism will.

Poop on a Plane

I’m on a plane flying home from Philly after a successful business trip and not one but two celebratory Philly cheese steaks (one from Geno’s and one from Pat’s. Given the quantity of food I’ve consumed in relation to the amount of liquid I’ve had since then, the expected lower body activity has reached its peak. Sadly, I’m on a 737 and despite my pre-boarding efforts nature has been unwilling to take its course until now, about an hour into my three-hour flight. Waiting is not an option, at least not if I don’t want to suffer a perforated bowel. Waves of gas attacks have coursed through my body and by now the poor soul seated behind me is probably wondering what small animal died in the air circulating system. I have no choice but to face the dreaded airplane bathroom.

If you think about it, ‘bathroom’ is a silly name for the narrow space lodged between the soda storage shelf and the two flight attendant seats at the tail of the plane. There’s no option for a ‘bath’ and ‘room’ is hardly an appropriate term. The space I’m about to use isn’t much larger than the glove compartment in my truck.

I’m a guy that hasn’t missed many meals, so I know that it’s going to be cozy in there. But at least I have that great universal toilet smell to look forward to. I imagine there must be a Bill Gates-like person with a firm monopolistic grip on the mystery toilet liquid market for all moving vehicles. Bus, train or plane, they all smell the same.

I open the door to the ‘lavatory’ and sidestep my way in. Come to think of it, ‘lava’ makes sense since that’s what I expect to be releasing from my ass any moment now. I’m not sure which task is more difficult for me, sliding from the middle seat to the aisle, or backing my caboose into this stinky parking space. I make like Baryshnikov and perform a sort of ballet maneuver just to get the door to close, and then I find the state-of-the-art red/green sliding lock that both protects me from sudden embarrassment while shielding other passengers from a most certain shock and awe to more than one of their senses.

Wow, this is a big room! No wait… ah, you almost got me. Those two strategically placed mirrors do wonders for the place. I feel like I’m outdoors for crying out loud. < /sarcasm > And, thanks to their strategic placement I will get to find out what I look like while taking a crap with my shoulder blades nearly touching.

Now for the important sequencing of events. First, check for toilet paper. If there’s one thing I will teach my kids before I die: always check for toilet paper before dropping trow and baking brownies. There’s not much that is more humiliating than the swamp-ass stroll from stall to stall trying to find some paper relief. But I digress. Given the ample leg room around me I know that I have to pee first, then take care of number two. Like Senator Craig, I have a wide stance. There’s no way my thunder thighs will spread wide enough for hank and the twins to have room to let loose. So, standing for number one is in order.

Now that my bladder pressure feels better it’s time to pirouette and prepare for number two. As my shorts start to lower I quickly retreat into a standing position. Moisture sighting at 6:00 low! Is that my pee on the floor, or is that stranger pee? I’m a good shot and I don’t remember dribbling. Either way, I need to avoid this ankle puddle so I drop a few paper towels on the floor to protect my clothes. Crisis averted, Houston we are go for throttle up.

Now that more serious matters have begun I have a little time to peruse my lovely surroundings. No smoking, huh? Three no smoking signs in both English and Spanish. How convenient. Didn’t we eliminate smoking on planes about thirty years ago? How old is this plane anyway? And, just in case you missed one of the three no smoking signs there is another sign specifically forbidding the disposal of butts in the trash. I guess they figure if someone is going to ignore three signs they might as well save money and only post one follow-up sign.

Glancing toward the celing I see five strips of red tape placed strategically over various hatches and removable panels. This is to let the crew know if anyone has tampered with the bathroom. Fucking terrorists… their influence is so damned pervasive. I’m certain that the flight crew is regularly checking to see if the tape has been wrinkled.

Ding. Muffins are done. Time to clean up. Hmm… how am I going to do this? I don’t think a 7yr-old Chinese contortionist could reach around her body in this small space to clean up downstairs. What the hell is a fat-ass like me supposed to do? Time to stand up. Spin. Grab. Wipe. Repeat. Cramp. Try again. Spin. Ouch! Pirouette. Done. Almost.

Now, as a 40-something male the only thing growing faster than my stomach is my prostate. I get another chance to tinkle and this time I have a few targets. As a good citizen I do my best to hose down the area and ensure that flushing removes all debris for a nice clean start for the next guy. Now, where the heck is the flush button. Is that ‘flush’ or is it ‘call attendant?’ Then will it be a silent swirl of cleanliness or a powerful sucking sound that might take me down with my recycled dinner? Fortunately it’s the former, and in a particularly blue shade of blue that is certainly not natural.

On to cleanliness. Oops… good thing I saw that “don’t drink the water” sign. I was parched. But I wonder, if its not safe to drink, is it really safe to use on my hands? Screw it, there’s plenty of soap. Mmm… lavendar with a hint of bleach. I’ll be a hit when I get home tonight. Wow, now that’s water pressure. All clean, a few passes with this industrial stength cardboard and I’m nice and dry, if not bleeding. Another sign! No paper towels in the toilet. Given what I just deposited I don’t think a paper towel is going to cause a problem.

Now to my next battle… squeezing back into my middle seat.

Rest in peace George Carlin.

If you repeat a lie often enough…

“There’s a reason the problems we face today are so much bigger than they were several years ago,” Obama said. “A big part of it is that George Bush and John McCain have been so focused on pursuing a flawed and costly war in Iraq that they’ve lost sight of our mounting problems here at home. Instead of working to fix our economy and lift up hardworking families, they’ve fought to extend a war that’s costing thousands of lives and billions of dollars without making us any safer — a war that has strengthened our enemies and distracted us from the real battle with Usama bin Ladin in Afghanistan and Pakistan.” (emphasis mine: source)

Barack Obama said this yesterday (June 1, 2008). Despite facts that prove him undeniably wrong he still marches forward to the same leftist mantras (”unjust war”, “not any safer” et al). Sadly many Americans fall victim to his charm and fail to recognize the snake oil he is selling. Let’s break this down:

“Pursuing a flawed and costly war”: True, this war has been expensive, and yes mistakes have been made. However, there is a much bigger picture that short-sighted liberals fail to see. More Democrats voted in favor of the Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002 than against it. Obama was not in office during the 2002 vote, but I think we all know how he would have voted. Also, LIberals like to bring up the failure to find WMDs, despite the fact that Hussein used them on his own people in the past). However, they forget to mention that there were many other reasons America entered into this war.

• Iraq’s noncompliance with the conditions of the 1991 cease fire, including interference with weapons inspectors.
• Iraq’s “brutal repression of its civilian population.”
• Iraq’s “capability and willingness to use weapons of mass destruction against other nations and its own people”.
• Iraq’s hostility towards the United States as demonstrated by the alleged 1993 assassination attempt of former President George H. W. Bush, and firing on coalition aircraft enforcing the no-fly zones following the 1991 Gulf War.
• Members of al-Qaeda were “known to be in Iraq.”
• Iraq’s “continu[ing] to aid and harbor other international terrorist organizations,” including anti-United States terrorist organizations.
• The efforts by the Congress and the President to fight terrorists, including the September 11th, 2001 terrorists and those who aided or harbored them.
• The authorization by the Constitution and the Congress for the President to fight anti-United States terrorism.
• Citing the Iraq Liberation Act of 1998, the resolution reiterated that it should be the policy of the United States to remove the Saddam Hussein regime and promote a democratic replacement.

lost sight of our mounting problems here at home / working to fix our economy: What exactly does Barack know about problems here at home? He has been campaigning for the last year and a half, has he actually done any work at all? He was voted into office to serve his constituency, yet he is basically giving them all the finger while pursuing his own self interests. And by the way, many of the problems Barack perceives are due to a lack of enough government control of your life. In Barack’s world people are not responsible for their actions, they need Big Government to help them out. Screw that.

without making us any safer: Um, check your facts Barack. This article provides proof that we ARE actually safer. Here’s a summary: Between 1988 and 2003 there were just under 20 attacks on American interests here and abroad. For the past five years (2004-2008 ) there have been no successful attacks inside the United States or against American interests abroad. Let me repeat that:

Starting in 2004
there have been no successful attacks
inside the United States
or against American interests abroad.

In my world that means that we are safer as a country than since the war started. There’s no way to deny that. There’s no spin that can change this indisputable fact. Yet the press refuses to cover it. News channels refuse to cover our actual success in Iraq. It takes editorials to point out the reality of our military success.

The war has strengthened our enemies: Not according to CIA Director Michael V. Hayden. Last week he told the Washington Post that the terrorist movement is essentially defeated in Iraq and Saudi Arabia and on the defensive throughout much of the rest of the world, including in its presumed haven along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border. But you won’t here Mr. Obama talking about this. It is in direct contrast to his time-tested lie.

What’s my point? Barack Obama is willfully and repeatedly lying by repeating his mantra. How can an agent of “hope and change” be so dishonest? I guess its easy if you really are just another politician trying to win an election. Change? No chance in hell. Hope? I hope our country can survive if he wins the election.