Meet “El Destructo”
Posted by cann0nba11 on November 5, 2007
When you first take them into your home you are disarmed by their utter cuteness. Little balls of fur with large cute little puppy feet and that blissfully ignorant look of complete innocence on their faces. “Wookit da wittle puppy wuppy dog!!! Whos a cutey patooty puppy dog? YOU are, aren’t you?” Wiggle wiggle, wag wag. How can anyone resist?
Experienced Labrador owners knowingly try to warn new Lab owners about the road that lies ahead. “Labs go through a chewing phase for their first 18 months or so” is the warning I received. Sure, no problem. I’ve owned two large dogs before, both for about 12 years each. This won’t be a problem. Nothing I can’t handle. And look… he’s so friggin’ cute!
So, into our home comes “Banjo” the 12-week old black lab. He likes to be held, he considers himself a lap dog. He was even paper-trained when we got him. So I stocked up on chew toys, rawhide strips, biscuits and tennis balls to keep the little guy occupied.
Two days later every toy was gone. Not shredded, not lying around in pieces. Gone, as in ingested. This little dude has some chompers.
About two months later I came home and saw this big black dog in the yard. Who is that? Oh, damn, that’s Banjo! Did we mistakenly buy the Barry Bonds Amdro/Alpo? Banjo had grown an amazing amount in such a short time. Yet, he still thinks he’s a lap dog. He also developed this cute little habit of running and jumping on the backyard patio swing so that it rocked back and forth. When it stopped he’d jump off, run back to it and jump on again to keep it swinging. He’d sit there for hours doing that. Then he started chewing on the seat cushion.
A month later there was no longer a seat cushion on the swing. Or on any of the four matching chairs. Banjo was now swinging on a canvas covered (barely) metal frame.
In addition to destroying a formerly attractive and comfortable outdoor furniture set Banjo has also claimed the following:
- The padded lining that covers the outer edge of the kid’s trampoline
- Several plastic Rubbermaid tubs that were serving as his water dish
- Not one but two lawn mower bag attachments
- Several garden tools
- My son’s riding John Deer tractor
- Several sprinkler toys
- A Craftsman weed trimmer
- A Coleman cooler
- A T-ball bat and batters glove
- A basketball
- Numerous low-hanging tree branches and lots of tree bark
- Not one, but two lawn mower pull-start ropes.
But he’s so damned cute! Wookit da wittle puppy…